Friday, January 9, 2009

My List

Many years ago my youth pastor, Chuck Booher, taught us the importance of having a list of what we wanted in a spouse and even guided us in coming up with some of the foundation for that list. I hadn't really updated my list since college and given some of my recent "dating" experiences I thought I should redo and refocus. So I took the last 6 months or so to really think and pray about what kind of man God had for me. I have shared this with some of you, but it is below. I know it is a lot of stuff, but I really believe God has a man with all of this for me. One of the things I have noticed is how much my list has changed since I have gotten older, this is because I have grown and changed and also has a lot to do with me watching my friends and their marriages. I am blessed to have some really good examples around me. So, without further ado . . . . .

Absolutely Must Have
  • Strong Christian – Attends church, spiritual leader, holds me accountable, has a good reputation, worships outwardly, servant, prays with me and involved in ministry.
  • Stability – has a good career that he loves and is passionate about without sacrificing too much in his personal life. Financially stable. Hard worker. Has prepared for the future financially. Emotionally stable.
  • Sense of Humor – Sarcastic but fun-loving, likes things like The Office, Steven Colbert. He makes me laugh and vice versa.
  • Chemistry – I want us to have chemistry with each other and really love being together. Gives me butterflies and makes me feel crazy happy. Respectful of physical boundaries.
  • Physical Attributes – Must be at least taller than me and weigh more than I do. I would like him to have good personal hygiene and dress well. Smells good.
  • Adventurous – Enjoys new experiences and traveling to new places. Has already traveled to many places and has a passport. Likes to have fun. Thinks of ways to keep our relationship fresh and our marriage exciting. Willing to take our entire family on mission trips together.
  • Strong Family Values – Has good relationship with his own family and will make a good father. Sees himself as an equal in raising our children. Able to take care of our family on his own if needed. Must want to have at least 2 children and will also consider adopting from a foreign country.
  • Intelligent – Has at least a Bachelor’s degree and is just smart overall. Keeps up on current events.
  • Supportive – Finds my dreams and the dreams of our family just as important as his own. Cultivates positive characteristics in those around him. Supportive of me in my career choices and my ambition. Has an overall optimistic outlook on life. Never puts me down in front of others.
  • Independent – I still want him to have his own sense of self and parts of his life that are outside of our life together. He needs a good support system of strong Christian men. He supports me in the exact same thing.
  • Honest, trustworthy
  • Sociable – Enjoys meeting new people and can handle himself appropriately in new situations. Make other people feel at ease. Not socially retarded or awkward. People like being around him. My friends like him.
  • Hospitable – I want people to always feel comfortable around us and in our home. People know they are always welcome if they need a place to stay or hang out. Our home is a place where people know they can hang out, have parties, and drop by at anytime.
  • Even temperament – Not prone to anger or to fly off the handle. He still should be passionate about the things he cares about though.
  • Traditional - Completes what I see are “man jobs” including getting gas, taking complete responsibility for car maintenance/washing, taking trash out, knows how to fix things/install things/put things together, and completing yard work. In return I will take responsibility for things like laundry, most cleaning and cooking. I am open to having a housekeeper/gardener to complete many of these things. =)
  • Good communicator-Able to express his emotions. Words and feelings match actions.

Would Be Nice

  • Glasses –I realize he may not have these now but may at some point as we age.
  • Musician – They are just sexy. I don’t know why.
  • Athletic – At least enough that he can coach kids teams. There is also just something mannish about a man that likes football, golf, basketball, hockey, etc.
  • He doesn’t have to love Disneyland, Disney World and other theme parks but at least tolerate visiting them often or letting me visit them with my friends or our children.
  • Master’s Degree
  • Family that is local to Southern California
  • Good taste in music – Notice I didn’t say similar taste in music.
  • Spontaneous – Says random things and does random things.
  • Clean – Picks up after self.
  • Married parents
  • Homeowner
  • Has job where he does not have to work nights and weekends frequently.
  • Enjoys reading and discussing books.


  1. I love that you are blogging Melis! Yay! Welcome to the wonderful land of blogging!

    Now, on to this list that you created. I love this list and think it is the perfect guy for you! I think this list will be a great reminder to you and when you do meet this guy it will be neat to see how he not only meets this list but how he exceeds it! God has a way of giving us more than we ask for!

  2. YEAH!! I didn't know you were blogging either... AND the perfect way to start! I will PRAY for you Melissa... God has the MAN of your dreams (list) out there!! YOU are a KEEPER!! =) and that MAN will see it!!

  3. Hey Mel! Yeah! You're blogging. I love your list! Praying for you sweetie!

  4. I love this blog! I've been praying alot of you and now I will pray for this list! Thanks for sharing your heart.